561610_542343709191084_1945855228_n‘Cadbury’s Crème Egg. How do you eat yours?‘ – It’s all nonsense, isn’t it? Obviously you bite the top off, tongue the filling a bit, and then munch away at the rest of the chocolate until it is gone. That is it. That is how one eats a Cadbury’s Crème Egg. End of story.

A better question is; ‘Washing your car. How do wash yours?’. So many possibilities.

There are those who like to do it themselves. Hose, bucket of warm soapy water, one or two sponges depending on whether or not they have obtained their black belt at the ancient art of car cleaning. Usually a systematic approach, panel by panel, washing and wiping and rinsing. Finishing with a rub around the wheels with a soft brush to remove brake dust and dirt. Washing the car by hand is a chore but it’s rewarding. A shiny clean car for a shiny happy driver.

Then there are the fetishists. They go that bit further. When they have probed all the nooks and crannies, and done the final rinse, they break out the special equipment. They use a chamois to dry the car. Did you know a chamois is a type of goat? Who first decided that the best thing they could use to dry their car was a goat? This is followed by the assorted cloths and tubs and bottles of polish. Apply a small amount of polish to a soft cloth and apply in a circular rubbing motion until your shoulder is dislocated and the floor is soaked with your sweat and tears…

I don’t trust people who polish their car. Life is too short.

At the other end of the spectrum is the person with zero mechanical sympathy. To them the automated car wash is an acceptable way to clean their car. Insert a few coins and hey presto the colourful rollers spring to life, batter your bonnet, steam your roof and remove your radio antenna. They are a bit like Guantanamo Bay for cars.

Personally, I prefer to pay €7 and let the professionals handle it, while I go and get myself a Cadbury’s Crème Egg.


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